She asked for Art & Alchemy.
There would be Fire, then Water then Air and then Earth.
She didn't know why she asked for the elements separately just as she doesn't know why she is talking about herself in third person.
Not really January, but the Water side has been empty and its time to fix that. Someone lit a spark to show what should go here.
These come from notes.
Notes to try document by talking to herself.
To ask more questions.
To help remember what has been asked for...so that when she is lost, she can remember that the confusion is an answer to something.
It can get hard to understand what is a question, what is the answer in the form of a question and what is madness.
We will see.
I'm sure who "we" refers to see if she is speaking in third person.
January 2009
New year. Asked for things. Dangerous things. Seemingly harmless things. Elementary things.
Art. Alchemy. Fire. Water. Air. Earth.
Harmless. Good things. Beautiful things.
Haha.
What is Fire?
Went on holiday, visit desert, visit ocean. Come home. Buys canvas and paint.
She stares at a blank canvas for a few weeks, it nearly kills her. So much emptiness. Impossible.
Losing things. Old precious things, disappeared. Fixated with finding lost things before moving to paint.
Insomnia starts. Building this website. Can't fill the canvas, but at least for now can start building the home for the canvas.
Nearly finished site, but blank canvas still trying to kill her.
Stops looking for lost things. Past is past. Its gone. Let it be gone.
She writes, "the path is pathless." Throws canvas away. Throws lots of things away. About to throw paint away. Instead throws it on herself.
Insomnia continues.
Building next door burns down. Evacuated. With red paint on her face. Neighbors, curious.
Fire. Red paint. Building destroyed. Staring at art.
She got it eventually. Fire. Thrown everything away but still a burn remains. A Will to express something in the face of everything inside that says you can't.
This was her Art. No canvas. Needed to work on herSelf.
Insomnia still continues. What is Fire? Fire does not burn the hands.
It is rising. It is boldness. It is your light turned on your shadow illuminating all that needs to be discarded.
And from that you burn the world which no longer serves you down. You rise. You raze. Fire says, I Am. Get the fuck out my way.
Fire is strength. Fire is angry. Fire cleans.
When Fire burns, it is most magnificent. Unstoppable-nothing can stand in the path of Fire.
Fire left untempered will cut a path of pure destruction. Fire engines 3am, 10 minutes, office park destroyed.
Launched site just before the eclipse.
Found old lost things. Not so precious anymore. Threw them out.
MissRevolution 3 April 2009 10:53pm
