MayDay
Only 2 hours since the last post but there is something about the 1st of May.
Ouroboros. Snakes. Trying to show me something and with the help of my brother I have some light.
The Magician and The Hierophant are connected somehow. I am struggling to distinguish between 1 and 5. Though 1 is the clearer image. 1 explains the snakes.
Ouroboros. Caduceus. Thoth. The Word. The Will. Constant Creation.
The snake is what I am going to focus on now. It is the strongest feeling. It will either lead me to some understanding or eat me alive.
Something needs to be shed.
And the Fire is welcome as Winter dawns.
MissRevolution 1 May 2009 1:46am
To have My Will and still let go..surrender...to have My Will and still let go...stop painting the picture...to have My Will and still let go...glass..stars...make it simple again...make it magic again...let it be magic again...I am hellbent on destroying anything in its simplicity...I must take it apart..solve..solve...solve...stop with the fkn solve...else you have a million little shards and you forget there ever was a whole.
Irritated with everything. Sometimes the irritation is useful. In it I know I am welcoming a change.
But I am irritated with this process itself. This is hard. Accelerating transformation. I am tired. I came here to find something. I don't know what it is. I can't leave until I find it. I am tired of looking, tired of keeping this eye open.
Fuck It.
The sky is not wide enough to hold me. Nothing can. Going straight for the brick wall in my way. Its not just in front of me. Its all around me.
I cannot return. I can't start again.
A crack. A sword. A moment of clarity. Never confuse the symbol with what is signifies.
At least the snakes are gone.
MissRevolution 13 May 2009 8:18pm
Its not a wall thats in my way. Its a Bull. Fkn earthy stubborn heavy Bull. The Hierophant. Taurus. Couldn't see the card because I am still not loving Earth. It will come back when I am ready to see it clearly.
For now, after 3 weeks of complete confusion. It is The Magus. The snakes will be realised in Gemini. The Month Of Mercury.
This one, I can see.
MissRevolution 13 May 2009 9:35pm
Earth and Air,not up and down but in and out. Earth the ability to walk Out. Without fear. To feel the Wheel turn beneath my feet, and not run and hide.
I still get scared to feel Earth move.
But no more moving forward in reaction to a fear. Not through anger. Not through pain or some self devised medication to heal the pain.
Through the heart.
Chasing pictures.
No more.
Making pictures, to hold on to a futile sense of controlling the Wheel. It is exhausting and I am useless in Hell.
Listen to the planets.
Let it turn. My Will is as much mine as it is not. The line is a circle. Trust the planets.
New path. New horizon. New stars.
Mercury, without fear.
MissRevolution 17 May 2009 9:31pm
Why is it so hard to be honest with myself?
to sit with the feeling and stop clinging to worlds that have passed.
I continually wait for the world to shift,
but I am trying to shift it to an empty husk of a world that is no longer Real.
Because it is longer my Truth. Because I am not being my Truth.
And I become an empty husk.
And then I wonder why.
The inside is the outside. The below is made the above.
If I cannot sit below. Feel what is below...
If I continue to to fight what is below with dreams of an Aeon that has passed...
then the above will continue to reflect the empty shell inside of me.
No More.
Hello Air. Welcome Mercury.
"...we have reached the High End Of Low."
MissRevolution 24 May 2009 1:51pm
